add some Marianess into ur lives..

Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!

haha! it’s so cute how we all wish each other ‘Happy Merdeka’ as if its new years’. shows how much we love our country eh?

hehe.. i love my country. but as much as i love my country, i do not love the ppl running it. politicians, in my opinion, continues making mistakes dat sometimes i fikir, wat da hell are they working for? money, power? da hell la.. they are paid a whole suitcase of money, buat la keje elok2. all these stupid scandals, all can be avoided if u can just fight the temptation and be less arrogant.

anywho, im at the hospital now, taking care of my mom (who’s sleeping rite now. kalau tak, tak online kot) coz she has high blood pressure tadi. it was really scary. she suddenly had a major headache & when we checked her bp, it was 200/120! ok, i have no idea wat dat means, but everyone were gasping, & my dad immediately took her to da hospital, so i knew it wasnt good (duhhh).

then my dad called me, saying mama will have to stay da night at the hospital. so saya la si mamasitter. hehe! kesian ibu.. her condition’s not getting better since her fibroid..

i wonder if it was me causing her to stress out so badly.. coz tadi she told me to do some errands and i said ok pastu masuk bilik terus tido.

or was it the 1 balang-full of fried ikan bilis she had..

i think it was the latter. excessive salt. not good. me. good. hehe!

so yeah, when everyone was happily counting down to chant ‘merdeka’, i was in the hospital room doing my assignment (sayangnya si khor *sarcastically*) and watching da countdown at the bare minimum volume on tv & listening to my mom snoring away.

im not complaining! dont get me wrong! oh, except da assignment part la. itu saya nak complain.

i think its one-of-a-kind merdeka. bila lagi i can experince this? hehe.. i think its so comel! dah la mama’s wearing this cute polka dots pajama!

so yeah.

tonite, its all about merdeka & my mom.

my sayang & his cousin still nak visit us eventhough my mom dah tido mati. thanx sayang & zac efron aka zafran!

in conclusion, i believe in unity, coz i am malaysian. lets all make our country a better place. a place where freedom is not questioned, where social status does not matter, where beliefs, skin colour,& language are not barriers. lets love malaysia. lets stop pollution.

MERDEKA! peace.

friends that want to come and go.

i personally feel that once u’re a friend, u’re always a friend. personal feud or misunderstanding should never be a reason to lose a friend because a friend can be beneficial emotionally, mentally & physically. a friend can help u push harder in studies, teach u how to cook, help u when u’re lost in kl, listen when u complained about ur boyfriend and so much more.

so those of u who’re contemplating whether or not to let go of a friend, think with ur heart not mind. everything should be dealt dat way. use ur head, not follow ur emotions.

women are known for being emotionally unstable and become easily attached to who/whatever they’re comfortable with. so why assume da worse when u dont know da truth?

if u dont like ur friend, easy. keep them but dont get attached. if he/she’s a bad influence, easy. dont get influenced.

but getting rid of them? i can never bring myself to do dat. i can only get rid of myself when i know im not wanted. not get rid of ppl. remembering a person by mistakes they’ve made, a major no-no. remember a person for the good things they’ve done. why be a pessimist, when the world is a more positive place when u become an optimist.

just sharing my thoughts. whoever yg terasa, im sorry.

peace.

as said above.

i hate being the only girl.

brothers takleh nak harap.

ola bola!

so, euro 2008 is on, and almost all friends i know are MIA. i pun tanak kacau them.. but because of dat la im bored to death now. dah la college will start soon. oh well.. thank god nik tak gila bola sangat..

i should be working. i wish..

i already got a job, but due to my mom’s recent health condition, i had to pass my job to my bro (he needed a job). i have to take care of my family and become a temp mom.

part of being a mom includes waking up my adik for school, getting his breakfast ready, kemas rumah, mandikan my cats, wash clothes, sidai, cook lunch, angkat baju, and more.. im not complaining here, more of "how da hell can mom do all this stuff?!?!"

and i, for 1, am not a sgt rajin person. im averagely rajin, know wat i mean? i can just angkat baju and fold them, washing da dishes and cleaning. but doing all this chores.. i dread thinking about them but wat choice do i have? i have to take over da role of a mother padahal i tak ready nak kahwin. guess this is training kot.. in case i become a housewife.. da part yg paling benci of all da chores, is cooking. i suck gila nak mampus! i can make curry look like just yellow water. i cant even goreng telur without jumping everytime da oil pops. and i tell u, my brothers are very hard to please! banyak songeh. one day they want rice, da next they want mee, after dat nak pizza. i can never predict their mood. huh.. if they help me, takpe gak.. but as if..

so. see! da power of a mother! they can go beyond a young adult’s energy level.

still.. i need money to get me by when im back in perak. for some reason, i think da scholar they give wouldn’t be sufficient. i have a car, and dat is a major money sucker. cash flow, cash flow! ahaha! if only they increase our scholar money..

keep dreaming maria.

so now, i have to chau chau to start mother-ing my family. huhhhhh…

peace.

there are so many things bothering me right now. but on some issues, i really have no idea how to share it with my friends. i need my mother at this time..

my mom.

i really enjoyed my break last semester. i did a lot of things normal couples don’t do. i think my bf and i have surpassed the phase of dating in malls and walking aimlessly around, clinging on each other’s arms and reached into the phase where we just want to have different experiences together, hence Skytrex, sight-seeing, etc. so when all these were happening, i was actually spending most of my time away from home, away from my family.

my family is practically boring. my brothers are not like me at all. when i love rollercoasters, my brothers hate them. i like sight-seeing, my brothers prefer watching sceneries on tv. so basically it’s all ping and pong at home. my mother.. well, she used to be like how i am. dats why at home, i am her only companion. whether in shopping, or talking, im the only one she can talk with. my dad is always with his ‘chief’, which to my opinion is a father-stealer. so with me away in perak, my brothers either locked up in their rooms or out performing shows, she is, i know, very lonely.

me, being the only girl in the family, realise dat it’ll be me forcing my brothers to go visit our parents once we’re married and raising our family. itulah hakikatnya. my mom made it clear dat she doesn’t want to live with any of us in the same house in future, but i don’t think i’ll have da heart. i mean come on la. what kind of mother helps their daughter pick out da right outfit to go clubbing? told their children dat she doesnt care if they have to skip a week of class to go on a holiday with the family? slaps u in the face in public? kejar2 u in public just to get even?

my mom.

to be honest, right now i regret not spending my time with her more when i had da chance. i regret not taking her out, treating her like i used to. i miss my mom and i know she misses me. but she will never tell me dat to my face. ego gila. but i frankly don’t mind coz i find dat really cute. i wish i could be there for her. i know she has a lot more to carry than any of us. we’re only students, whereas she is a mother, a role model, a caretaker. whenever im stressed beyond repair, she’ll help me. she’s da reason why i take things lightly. she told me dat she doesn’t care about my results,because she wants me to score to please myself, not her. i have a really cool mother.

i can’t wait to go home and talk to her. i want to be with her. i miss her so badly.  knowing me, it’ll take a few guilt attacks before i learn my lesson.. i just hope this is it. hehe..

to all of yous,

balik la, and give ur mom a big hug and a huge kiss! dont take her for granted. she’ll always be there, true, but one day, she wont. so spend la as much time as possible with her.

i know i’ll get a slap for da huge kiss, but wat do i care?? hehe!

peace.

this has been THE BEST HOLIDAY EVER!!!!
i did so many things on my list already: wall climbing, skytrekking, flying a kite(froggy!!), clubbing, working, lepaking, etc.
clubbing was fun! i was with all my cousins (all above 18 of course) and we just meet up and go clubbing. just us cousins!! i tell u, clubbing with family is so fun! it was my first time clubbing with my brothers as well.. awkward at first, but afterwards, it felt normal. we became closer since. nowadays, we talk more, we call each other more, and i can tell them almost everything. its da best feeling ever! but of course, brothers will always be BOYS, means they’re usually not dat interested in knowing wat a girl is going through. but i just like telling them anyway! hehehhee…
anyways, i’ve met up with a lot of my friends too. on my birthday, i met my matrix friends, all whom i rarely see since the end of matrix. miss them so much!!
oh yeah. my birthday. IT WAS FREAKING BEST!!!!
i was surprised by all of my favourite ppl! friends from UTP and matrix! damn, i cried so much too dat day.. my surprise birthday party was organised by my mom and my sayang. i was really amazed to find my matrix friends: dee dee, nadia, naqibah, syed; all there. together. if i la yg ajak, confirm it wont happen! hehehe…
but i was happy to see them. so nik, nazim, dee dee, nad, naq, syed are my matrix ppl, ern, pez, mayam, anis, ivan, azhar (ukm actually), adreen are my utp ppl. i swear to God, i choked and cried so many times dat nite, i think im probably out of water till today. ok, totally exaggerate dat part. summary is, i wish my birthday’s every month!! hehehehhe!! my du friends: nionot, mierot, nisyot made a birthday treat for me too da next day!! thank u guys so much for coming, making my day, and for the presents!! LOVE U ALL SO SO SO MUCH!!!
i took my sayang out for a birthday treat at gombak. i made spaghetti and brownie (to replace a cake). at the gombak park, we played kite! best gila!! very calm and simple. i hope he liked it…
oh, i worked with ENSR, an environment consultant company associated with the jabatan alam sekitar. i learnt things there. for a week tho, i was there, but nonetheless, the experience.. good la. pay, good too! =B
other than dat… lets see…
late nite movies, double dating, jamming, with nik’s cousin: zafran and his gf, mas. they’re really fun ppl to be with! my weekends were always with them.. sad to stop this routine now.. wuuuuu..
oh yeah!! new year!!!! i had so much fun with ninot, amad, zafran, mas, haikal, syira, n my sayang!! we met a few more along dat day. best gila la! dancing like mad, bags swinging around like no1’s business, God, im writing a lot now.. hehehhe.. told u i did so many things on my list!
well… u get da gist la. and i don wanna bore any1(myself rather). so yeah. i hope everyone had fun these past weeks. coz i did. oh, results were out. im glad to see that my parents are happy with my result eventho to me, they’re just ok. oh well! as long as they’re happy, who am i to complain. i get rewards wat!! hauhuha!!
ok la.
see u all in utp or somewhere else.
selamat!!

peace.

so, last i remebered, it was raya. now, its the end of the year!!

in 2 days, i’ll be as free as a bird!! can’t wait to start my holiday. it’ll be filled with fun and interesting activities. i know it. coz i can feel it. i have all these adventures planned up in my mind. i wanna go hiking, sight-seeing, get treatment, change my hair style, travel, shop and of course, lepak!

not to mention paintball, rock climbing, batting.. etc..

GOSH!! so many things to do!!!

mcm sempat je..

tak kisah! i’ll make it happen! im writing this blog coz i have no output for all these bottled-up-and-too-much-to-contain excitement. ye la, we still have 1 paper to sit. so my friends basically have their nose glued on their books. while i watched 4 episodes of gossip girls in a row and heroes, and updating my blog. takde keje, much! hehe..

anyways, wait for me kl!!!

i am coming, with a basket of laundry, laptop, printer, books and bags!!

tunggu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

peace.

saya cinta rumah saya di pj itu.

after a month fasting, finally, da day we all have been waiting for.. da day when we all shall gain extra 10kg.. da day when we get richer than usual.. da day when we can wear extravagant baju melayu in malls without ppl thinking we’re show offs.. da day when all da women busy themselves with jewelry, hair, n makeup while da men wait..

it’s time..

to CELEBRATE!

woooooooohoooooooooooooo!!!

i cant believe its tmrw.. it felt like i’ve been fasting for a week je.. cepat gila time berlalu..

so to all my friends, sorry if i berdosa ngan u guys.. ampun maaf!

but thanx for everything!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

maaf zahir & batin!

peace.

talking to my friend and my sayang da other day got me thinking back da times i had when i was in matrix.

i was very sad when entering matrix coz i had to miss Wirajaya program at pkn. i was really looking forward to dat coz i really enjoyed being in da wild and all. pkn was 1 of the best things dat happened in my life, i admit. so in matrix, i was jealous of my friends dat can stay to complete their training, sad to leave my bittersweet memories, n also n really lazy to further my studies.

i cried during da orientation, sad to say la. hehehe! silly tul, but true. i was crying not because of their routines or anything. but i really missed pkn. i was really pissed dat i couldnt do da last 2 modules: wirajaya and komuniti. my parents have been very supportive then. they told me to be strong n firm. i think i did fairly well in dat part. i mean, i was da only malay dat didn wear tudung when we were supposed to. haha! not dat i hate wearing it or wateva, i was just plain rebelling. teenage maaa. hehe..

so, after about a month, i was starting to realise dat matrix is soo not like how i imagined it to be. everywhere, ppl were studying. eventho da classes only just started. i didn have a text book pun then! i was in sains hayat at first. in da same lecture group as nik lak tu!! but never noticed him then. neither did he notice me.

i changed to sains fizikal coz i really hate bio. i fell asleep in my first bio class! boring nak mampus. neways, changing to fizikal was nerve wrecking. i was 2 weeks behind them kan. plus, i was da only 1 without tudung in da class. i rmbr ppl asking if i was chinese.

1st sem was difficult. most ppl really discriminate girls dat dont wear tudung. i was. in my own class. n i knew it. they all thought im da kind dat goes clubbing, do god-knows-wat la. such stupid, silly, sempit, cetek and really uncivilized way of thinking. i studied in a bloody school for god’s sakes. n if im in matrix, doesnt dat say something?? dat i want to learn more?? i was so pissed at these ppl, dat i rebelled. i wear clothes ikut suka hati mak bapak aku, i studied, did my tutorials, n i stayed in my room. weird way to rebel, but i wanted to prove to these ppl dat im not useless. n im totally not wat they think i am. a slut, bimbo, bitch, n such la.

i didn have many friends in my 1st sem. coz of da way i am. i was weird, i know. i said kan, i was rebelling. i was doing wateva i want. walk with my hips in front, talk rubbish.. basically, i was just having fun being weird la. i tak kisah langsung wat ppl think about me. honest! i know ppl hate me. like nik’s ex. haha! n more la. i know i was made fun of, dikutuk, etc. im not stupid. i know there was this gang yg suka made me a joke. i know! as if im blind. but i didn care. coz i know it will turn out good for me, and bad for them.

n i think it really did.

look at where i am now. i have a great bf, i got to further my studies in a great course, without squeezing a sen from my parents.. my future is really bright. n im very thankful for these rezeki im blessed with.

back to matrix, after 2nd sem, i think ppl started to respect me and its all because i got good results on my finals. i didn mind anyway. i was grateful dat i succeeded in changing their perspectives of me. i already broke up with my ex then. he’s a good guy.. he helped me go thru 1st sem by being my only company. zue was there 4 me too. after our breakup, i found my friends; mia, nad, naq, didi, syed, miera kecik n myra, etc. thanx to syed, i knew nik, nazim, asy, yana..

so matrix.. i had great memories. i once slept in dis cheap motel with my friends 1 nite coz we wanted to watch a midnite movie, i went to panching n had barbeque, i was an mc for merdeka n raya(i have no idea wat i was thinking), i danced with nik’s dance crew. his ex was in it too. best gila la. hahaha!! i had a fight with a lecturer(Pn Zai), a misunderstanding with another 1(Pn Adilah), a ‘cold treatment’ with another(Pn Shariza). told u i was rebellious. heheh.. ganas ek.. i learnt how to play tennis, i walked from kuantan parade to megamall, i dated a guy i never tot of dating, i fell in love, i had great roomates(miss them so much now..)…

i was a nerd. i was weird. but i was happy.

org lain je tak happy seeing me happy being the way i was. PHD tinggi kot. but in the end, i was da cinderella. my prince charming found me, da step sister lost. i am living in my happily ever after. studies being an exception la. hehe.. im not trying to brag, just being honest.

alhamdullillah..

bulan ramadhan is, after all, a month where we reminisce our past.

peace.

ps: if any1 terasa, a thousand apologies. tell me if u r, dari nak ngumpat, baik settle kan je kan..

dis coming september, our band, Excuse Me, will be performing along with other bands from all over perak at Musicfest!!

so please, any1 who wants to watch goods bands performing great music, do come!! tickets are on sale now!!

i cant wait to master all da songs our band had chosen!! i know my drumming skills aren’t as good as most of da guys.. i mean, i am a girl drummer, means i have frailer arms, slower beat, and less creativity than the norm.. but i’ll try my best..

i have to admit, i am so proud of my fellow bandmates..

we have upgraded ourselves from amateurs to mediocre musicians. hhhehehehe!! i love ern, inot, iylia and adreen!!

however, frequent practices n jammings are still needed.. we’re trying very hard to please u all tau! hahauhaheua..

apart from dat,

LOVE IS IN THE AIR!!!!

most friends of mine have found love n celebrating it by uploading pictures of them with their boy/girlfriend for us to see… awwwwww…. comel je…..

i’ve wondered why we tend to do dat… putting up pictures of us being happy…

i nak tangkap gambar bila i n nik gaduh la…

hehhehehee!! sounds cute to me!

but we rarely fight… guess i have to cari pasal la…

anyways, im so happy for my friends yg sudah in a relationship! congrats u all!!! may God bless u n may ur happiness lasts forever n ever n ever n ever…….

hehe!

now dat we’re 2nd year students, i hope dat we r wiser than last year, n more hardworking.  i need to get my pointers up… only so, i can reward myself fulheartedly!

well.. guess im all out of things to say..

oh!! Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is da bomb!!!!

i had so much fun reading it (i tell u, it was!!) coz its so full of surprises!! i had a very emotional week when i read da book.. i cant sleep dis 1 nite coz i had a nightmare about voldemort.. i swear it was scary! n i cried too.. my roomate, ern, found it amusingly weird for a person to cry when reading. hehehe! bless her..

all in all, da book was emotionally challenging!

so read la, non-harry-potter-readers.

it’s well worth it!

k la..

think i need a bathroom break.. hehehe!!

peace.